Weather You Like It or Not

It is May. Is anyone else aware of this? Cleveland seems to be unaware, or at least whatever weather deity is in charge of Cleveland anyway.
A couple of months ago, I heard someone on the radio say that Cleveland has four seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter and Road Construction. I thought that was pretty funny, and accurate. All of April was Still Winter, or Monsoon Season (take your pick), but I thought with May we might finally have reached Road Construction. Last week was beautiful. We still had rain but it was warmer and we had some sunny days too. I walked to the library with the boys, we played at a park and had an outdoor picnic during the course of the week. On Thursday, we even had to turn the air conditioner on for a little while to take the edge off the heat but by Sunday, we had to turn the heater back on.
Yep, you read that right. We had to run our furnace... in MAY! If I wanted to run my heater in May, I would move to northern Alaska where there are no state taxes (in fact, I think the government pays you to live there), amazing natural phenomena and wildlife beyond just red squirrels.
I would blame weather.com for our lack of Spring weather, but then I figured that if they actually had any control over the weather their predictions would be right more often. However, I did consider writing them a letter in hopes they might know someone who knows whatever entity does make the weather. I figure their information has to come from somewhere. I imagine they have informants who hang out with the big wigs of the weather world. "Well, Thor was in a real funk at the party last night. You might want to predict a thunder storm for tomorrow."
So who is in charge of Spring weather? In searching for someone to receive my wrath, my mind lit upon Persephone of Greek mythology. I remembered her from my high school education as the goddess of Spring. For those of you don't know or can't remember her story, here's a recap. Persephone is the daughter of Demeter, the goddess of the harvest. Persephone was abducted by Hades, god of the underworld. Demeter found out about Hades running off with her kid and somehow Zeus was involved in the whole scheme. Demeter was ticked off so she wouldn't allow anything to grow until Persephone was returned to her. Persephone came back, but because she ate some pomegranate seeds while she was hanging out in the underworld she had to live there for part of every year. (Wow. Why do we teach such weird things to high school students? Does pomegranate still have the power to bind someone to a specific location? I'm thinking we could use this to solve parole issues for starters and possibly solve some major land disputes in Asia and Africa.)
Anyway, the point is that when Persephone returns from her annual sojourn with Hades, Demeter allows it to be Spring. Here's my thought: Maybe Persephone isn't sticking around. Come on, Persephone! Is Cleveland so bad that you would rather go back to H-E-double-hockey-sticks? I mean, I know that we've had our unfair share of serial killers and the Browns have never been to the super-bowl and sometimes the lake is too gross to swim in, but really? Is it worse than schmoozing with the souls of the damned? If you will just hang out in Cleveland for while so winter can really be over, I'll bake you some cookies. Really good ones. No pomegranate seeds.
I hope she changes her mind in the near future so we can finally have our Road Construction season. Goodness knows, the streets need it. And Persephone? If you aren't going to come back could you at least lend us a little fire and brimstone to heat our houses? My feet are cold.