February Funnies

David John sometimes gets very creative with his prayers. Recently he said the following in his prayer, "Please bless Jesus to bring us toys and wrestle with us." I am glad he believes that Jesus is a real person. I am little concerned that David John might be mixing Him up with Santa Claus. Does Santa Claus wrestle?

Gabriel also says very creative prayers, although his are a little more self-serving. We've recently heard prayers including the following, "Please bless all the brothers, especially me." and "Please bless Elijah to listen to Mommy and Daddy like I do."

Elijah has become quite the wheeler and dealer. Whenever he wants something he always tries to barter for it. One evening the boys had hot dogs for dinner and David John was in possession of the last hot dog.
E: David John, how much does that hot dog cost?
D: It costs too much money.
E: That's okay, I have too much money, David John!

David John walked away from a toy in the waiting room at the dentist's office with a dejected look on his face.
D: Mom, I can't play with that toy anymore.
Me: Oh, why?
D: Because, sigh, I keep *tesploding it.
*exploding


The boys often ask about what is in "real life" and what is not.
G: Daddy, do you know any reindeer that can fly in real life?
Marc: Um, nope. I don't know any reindeer that can fly in real life.
G: Daddy! What about Santa's reindeer? They can fly. Did you forget about them Daddy?


We invited Elijah to sleep in the guest room because his brothers were being crazy and keeping him awake.
E: I don't want to go sleep in the guest room. There is one spiderweb left in there.
Marc: I can clean it off.
E: (wide eyed) There might be more we can't see.
 As it turns out Elijah has a bit of a phobia about spiders. His helpful preschool friends have made him aware that there are spiders that can kill you with one bite.


All of our boys are very interested in the concept of resurrection. Gabriel and Elijah had an argument about it that came to blows, and David John uses it as a way to reset his imaginary games. For example, after dinosaurs had eaten or pushed all of Elijah's trains off of a cliff, David John decided to make things right.
D: Look, Elijah! All of these trains got resurrected!


Gabriel was gloating a bit when he proved to be right about something and I was mistaken. We then had the following exchange:
G: Mommy, am I always right?
Me: No son, no you are not always right. No one is always right.
G: Not even mommies?
Me: Not even Mommies. No one is always right.
E: But Jesus is always right!
Case in point, son.

Elijah wasn't looking where he was going and ran into a door jamb on his way from one room to another. Obviously, this was not his fault because he immediately yelled, "Mom, you have got to move that piece of wall!"

One day when David John "missed" he informed me that he had somehow gotten his shirt, pants and underwear wet in addition to some landing on the floor. As he showed me the mess he commented, "Don't worry Mom. Pee on the floor looks just like water on the floor." Clearly, we need to be bleaching the bathroom floor more often.