Hold the Phone

Our phone is possessed by a mischievous spirit. There is no other explanation for the number and variety of wrong number calls we receive at our house. In addition to randomly redirecting wrong calls to our house, our phone also frequently chooses not to ring when people really are trying to reach us. We have had several reports of this phenomenon when people cannot reach us on our home phone and then call us on our cell phones saying "Why didn't you pick up?"
Since we got our land line, I have received calls asking if I am hiring, if I would like to advertise my business in the yellow pages, if I deliver and what my hours are. I have been mistaken for a Ruth, a Whitney and a Bathsheba. I have received phone calls in Spanish. I have even been called by a congresswoman. However, the two most amazing phone calls came from teenage girls. Their calls have convinced me that in the world of caller ID and cell phones the younger generation (I realize this makes me sound like I'm 60) has failed to learn old fashioned phone skills like introducing yourself. I understand that when you are using cell phones, you know exactly who will pick up and you expect them to know exactly who is calling, but certainly when an unfamiliar voice answers you should politely introduce yourself. Obviously, this was beyond the ability of the girls who called me. The first was a sulky sounding girl asking, "Is Jason there? Who is this?" She was unconvinced by my explanation that this was a wrong number. Clearly, she suspected her boyfriend of being with another woman. When I hung up, I imagined poor Jason getting dumped in soap opera fashion:
Sulky Girl: "So, a woman picked up when I tried to call you yesterday. Who was it?"
Jason: "What are you talking about?"
Sulky Girl: "Don't lie to me Jason. I know there's someone else. We're through!"
The second teenager who called me sounded so ditsy that at first I thought it must be a prank call... until I realized that I couldn't think of anyone who would prank call me. Our conversation went as follows:
Me: "Hello?"
Valley Girl: "Hello!!!" (she was very enthusiastic)
Me: "Hi. May I ask.."
Valley Girl: (interrupting me) "Hiiiiiiiiiiiii!" (this was drawn out for a good ten seconds)
Me: "Who is this?"
Valley Girl: "You don't know who this is?!?!"
Me: "No, I'm sorry, I don't."
Valley Girl: "OMG! It's Kimberly! DUH!"
Me: "I think you must have a wrong number."
Valley Girl: "No way!" *click*
This conversation made me very concerned for our future. Can you imagine the damage this girl could do if she was, say, Secretary of State? Maybe I shouldn't worry. Maybe she wouldn't even be able to reach the leaders of other nations. Maybe she only dials wrong numbers. There seems to be a lot of that going around.