3 Going on 30

There is no one like a toddler to show you how ridiculous adults sound sometimes. Here are some of my favorite Elijah-style uses of adult phrases and tactics from the last week or so:

The Threat
(Elijah wanted a puzzle but I told him he needed to clean up first.)
Elijah: "Mom! If you don't get the caterpillar puzzle down for me right now then I am going to be very very naughty!"
Me: "Great, now you're making threats."
Elijah: "It's not great!"
Me: "I know, I was being sarcastic."

The Guilt Trip
(Elijah had to go to time out for being disobedient.)
Elijah: "Well, Mom, if you send me to time out then I will be very very sad."
Me: "I'm sorry, but you broke the rules. You still have to go to time out."
Elijah: "But Mom, that will make me cry!"
(This was accompanied by outstanding sad faces and tears welling up in those big blue eyes. This kid is good.)

The Limited Time Offer
(I was feeding Benjamin and unavailable to read a story for a few minutes.)
Elijah: "Mom! Hurry and read me this story right now before someone else does!"
Me: Laughing, and imagining throngs of people clamoring to read Elijah a story; not that it isn't a pleasure to read to him.

I'm Sorry, but...
(David John came running into the kitchen crying and saying Elijah had hit him.)
Me: "Elijah, please come apologize to David John for hitting. Hitting is not okay."
Elijah: "David John, I'm sorry I had to hit you, but you were trying to bite me."
Me: "David John, were you trying to bite him?"
David John: "Yes."