December Recap

Okay, so I did it again. Why am I only able to write one measly blog every December? It's as if my time is completely consumed by Christmas shopping, crafting, and planning Marc's birthday or something. Weird. Anyway, here are some of things I planned to write about this month but just never got around to it:

Dear Santa
We took the boys early in the month to a fun breakfast with Santa hosted by one of the community churches. The boys enjoyed the free food, cookie decorating, ornament making, chance to see Elmo and, of course, the chance to tell Santa what they wanted for Christmas.
This is the first year any of them has expressed a desire for a specific Christmas gift. In the line to see Santa were tables with little printed wish lists that you could fill out for Santa to give to his elves. The boys dictated, and I wrote down what they wanted. David John asked for an Abby Cadabby doll, Elijah asked for cookies and slippers and Gabriel asked for slippers, cookies, milk, juice and water. I wondered what Santa might think about these sparse requests. Frankly, I'm surprised he didn't refer our family to social services. Any child who has to ask for water for Christmas must be deprived. I was tempted to write a disclaimer stating that I really did provide adequate nutrition and thirst-quenching drinks on a daily basis. Despite being a little embarrassed, I did feel grateful that my boys were not greedy and didn't want anything terribly expensive. My gratitude deepened when I heard the little girl in front of us telling her sister what to write on her list. "I want a smart phone, a Coach purse and some serious bling." Maybe having four boys is not such a bad thing...

Party Like it's 1985
Marc went to our friend Kevin's birthday party with an 80's theme. I put together this gnarly outfit for him last minute. We also provided a very 80's gift of some He-Man coasters that I made. We couldn't find a babysitter (all of our friends were out of town or at the party) so I stayed home but Kevin got a kick out of his gift and Marc's get-up got 2 votes for best 80's ensemble so all-in-all a good night. :) (For the record, Marc offered to stay home and let me go to the party. He's a totally radical husband.)

Sock it to Me
Benjamin is crawling, cruising and scooting everywhere. One of his favorite things to do is locate a sock of any variety (dirty, clean, tube, ankle- he's not picky) and then chew on it until it is a disgusting sodden mess. While he is chewing, he searches for other socks until he has gathered a little collection of the toddler socks that are perpetually strewn about the house. Since he doesn't want to put any of his socks down, he gets around by keeping his torso and arms still while propelling himself forward across our wood floors using only his toes. The result is quite hilarious and just cannot be communicated with a picture. We invite you to come over any evening and witness the sock-eating ritual. Then you, too, can enjoy watching Benjamin who looks like a baby-shaped vacuum being moved about by some unseen force and picking up socks in its wake.
We have learned recently that not only are socks good for chewing on, but they are also quite handy for effectively stopping large pieces of machinery. One of Benjamin's Halloween socks, aware that October was over and knowing that it was destined for a long wait in a storage container, chose to wriggle its way under the washing machine instead of going into the washing machine. As a cry for attention, perhaps, this sock managed to scoot all the way to the back of the washing machine where it was sucked post-haste into the engine causing a loud "pop" sound and the immediate cessation of the washing of laundry. We were not aware of the emotional distress of the sock or its misguided plot. All we knew was that we could not do laundry and that David John had chosen the very same day to have a record number of potty-training related accidents. We attempted to discover the cause of the sudden breakdown over a couple of days while a wonderfully odiferous collection of pants and underwear accrued in our basement sink. Finally, we called a repair man who charged us $150 to fish the baby sock out of the gear box. I think sock therapy would have been cheaper.

A Christmas Miracle
As most of you know, Marc was born on Christmas Eve (I won't say how many years ago) in Jerusalem. However, his birth by his patient mother who had to be carried up the stairs (whose idea was it to put the maternity ward on the second floor?) and try to communicate with an Arab woman who could only say "Bush!" instead of "push" is not the miracle I am talking about. No, this was the miracle of the ice cream cake. Each year, I get Marc an ice cream cake for his birthday. This year, we had a party on December 22nd so I went out to get the cake the night of the 21st. I took Benjamin with me. When we arrived home, I was bringing in both the baby and the cake when the cake slipped out of my hands and tumbled through the air. The big plastic dome top came off as did the plastic bottom, but somehow the cake stayed with the cardboard liner. The miracle was that the cake landed right side up with only one barely noticeable nick in the frosting.
The birthday party was very fun with homemade pizza, popcorn, candy, fruit and root beer (Marc's favorite things). We also played chimes and had a Marc trivia game. His friends learned that Marc can do an awesome velociraptor imitation. They also learned he will not do it at parties.

Christmas
Here are the four boys and me in our new Christmas pajamas at my parent's house. We had a great time while Marc, as usual, worked. I am happy to report that Santa did bring David John an Abby Cadabby doll as well as Elmo slippers. Gabriel and Elijah received Lightening McQueen slippers and special cookies from the North Pole. Santa decided to let us provide the milk, juice, and water. It was Benjamin's first Christmas and he enjoyed the paper and boxes as well as the new binkies and binky clips that Santa brought.We opened presents at home with Daddy today. Our boys are very fun to give to because they express extreme satisfaction with everything from new socks and pants to awesome new toys. I am always filled with gratitude for my little family and sweet husband at Christmas time. This year, when I arrived home after the drive from Fairborn, Marc had this beautiful vase of lilies waiting for me. Each time I walk into the kitchen I breathe in the sweet smell. They make me think of the new year, a new start, a new chance to love and live and grow.

Name of the Game

I am sick. Marc brought home something lovely from the hospital involving a very sore throat, cough and that foggy brain feeling. My children are supposed to be napping so I that I too can rest and try to get rid of this bug. Unfortunately, they are not napping. I can hear thumps, groans and the occasional, "ouch!" This indicates they are playing something which involves jumping on and off of beds and that they are periodically slamming into each other. Whether the slamming is on purpose or not, I am unsure. They play a lot of these kinds of games. The hilarious thing is what they choose to call their caveman antics. Marc and I have both witnessed the game they call "Groundhogs". Groundhogs does not involve hiding or popping up out of boxes. No, it involves two people standing on the back of the couch on opposite ends then running to the middle and grappling until one or both them falls off.
The game "Fish" means that each player stands on an opposite arm of the couch and then jumps towards the other person with the intention of hitting that person feet first and slamming them backwards. To me, these games might more appropriately be named "American Gladiator Style Grudge Match" or "Broken Limbs Couch Derby". I think, maybe, they assume that if it has an innocent sounding name I will be okay with what they are doing. Earlier today, when I heard suspicious noises emanating from their bedroom, I asked Gabriel in my very froggy voice, "What are you guys doing?" He replied, "We're playing 'Rainbow Wish'. We crash into each other!" Indeed, each little boy had a blanket which was held out in front of him like a protective shield. They would all give a primal shout and then run towards the center of the room, crash into each other and fall down.
I am still uncertain how I feel about "Rainbow Wish". Compared to Groundhogs and Fish, it seems like a safer outlet of toddler boy aggression. Despite my boys' strategy to give their activities cutesy sounding monikers, I am going to have to agree with Shakespeare. "What's in a name?" A boy's game by any other name is still just plain crazy. If you'll excuse me, I have to go chew out my children for not taking a nap and deliver the bad news about an early bed time. When I ask them what they've been doing in there, I'm sure I'll get some amusing answer. "Oh Mom, we were just playing 'Sleeping Kittens'!"

Four Score and Seven Years Ago

Wait, make that four years ago, seven weeks early Gabriel and Elijah were born. We had a great time celebrating their birthday with Oma and Opa. We tried to treat them to dinner out at the Cheesecake Factory. It was almost as disastrous as our ill-aimed pin the tail on the donkey game. At least everyone looked cute in their hats. I took treats to the boys' school on Monday. They loved having David John and Benjamin in their classes. Elijah's teacher made him a birthday crown and asked what he wanted her to draw on it. He replied "A temple." She was a little taken aback. She said "How about a castle?" Of course, when we got home the other boys had to have crowns too, even though it wasn't David John's birthday. We are so grateful for our two biggest boys. They are amazing and full of boundless energy. I just hope we can find positive ways to channel that energy this year. Suggestions welcome. Please enjoy the pictures.

Elusive Essay Espied

Members of the blog community have confirmed reports of a sighting of the rare ohioricks blog. Those tracking the blog's mating habits, migratory patterns and habitat were relieved at the news.
"It had been almost a whole month without so much as a word or hint of its whereabouts," explained blog expert Lucius Loquacious, "We were beginning to wonder if the ohioricks blog had survived the Thanksgiving season. Its appearance today is definitely heartening."

While the sighting today is certainly news to celebrate, experts are still concerned about the rapid disappearance of the blog's natural habitat, a region known as "Sarah's Free Time." If the flashy line graphs are to be believed, the size of Sarah's Free Time has an inverse relationship to the number of alien species introduced into the environment. Non-native life forms have been encroaching for years. Specialist Peter Punditry made the following observation in his recent book The Cleveland Chronicles: an examination of it's habits from awful alliteration to down-write dreadful puns, "The erosion of Sarah's Free Time, habitat of The Cleveland Chronicles or ohioricks blog, began in 2002 with the accidental introduction of the organism known as Marc. Marc was carried into Sarah's Free Time by an unsuspecting college student. The ecosystem seemed able to incorporate this new species, but with some environmental losses. The real devastation started in 2007 with the twin invaders Gabriel and Elijah. David John was discovered in the habitat in 2009 and a fifth alien took root just this year. It is unclear whether stability will be maintained with the addition of the species Benjamin, yet another hour-avore. "

While the outlook for the Cleveland Chronicles may be grim, blog lovers and tree huggers alike can do something to save this endangered specious writing. Vera Verbosity suggested some ways you can help:
1. Offer to help relocate alien species to other, less fragile environments. These species would probably thrive in locations such as Time With Babysitters, Time at Other People's Houses, Nap Time, and Bed Time Without Complaining, Crying, Getting-up or Refusing to Sleep
2. Contribute to a charity or research institution developing programs and technology to help perpetuate the ohioricks blog. The following organizations would make good use of your time or money: Invent a Pill so Sarah Doesn't Need any Sleep Group, People for Ending Toddler Anarchy and the Mommy Liberation Front
3. Write your local congressman and demand that well being of the Cleveland Chronicles and the maintenance of the integrity of Sarah's Free Time be made a top priority. Currently, 0 government dollars are being given to this cause and only 3 subcommittees are working on the issue. Your voice could change that.

In the time it took you to read this article, 30 more minutes of Sarah's Free Time has disappeared. Let us hope that with the combined efforts of concerned citizens and blog specialists, this most recent sighting of The Cleveland Chronicles won't be the last.

Wild Things

Lions...and Tigers...and Bears...Oh My!Our boys were very enthusiastic about their costumes this year. Elijah wore the same tiger costume last year, but begged to wear it again this year which was fine by me. David John was also adamant about being a tiger. Of late, he's developed an obsession with baby tigers. He frequently asks to watch baby tiger videos on You Tube. Every day since we've started working on his costume he's asked, "I be baby tiger? I can wear baby tiger helmet?" Here he is giving his best baby tiger roar.This is the whole crew with Daddy. They went trick-or-treating last Monday at our local Notre Dame college. Poor Marc has been on call every other night and so has missed most of the Halloween fun. We were glad he got to do this with the boys. Gabriel and Elijah mastered the "trick-or-treat" phrase this year. David John could say it too, but he never said until after he got the candy. The female college students were quite charmed by his saying "trick-or-treat-thank-you!" after they dropped something in his bucket.On Thursday, Gabriel and Elijah had a costume parade at their school. They each sported a homemade costume created as part of a class project. So, here is Gabe the black cat...... and Elijah the spider.Saturday was loaded with Halloween fun. Our local grocery store, Giant Eagle, does an awesome Halloween scavenger hunt every year. Each store department gives something for the kids to put in their bags and most of it is not candy. The boys got apples, lunchables, goldfish crackers, stickers and more. Here is Benjamin enjoying the pumpkin-shaped sugar cookie he scored at the bakery.
Saturday night was Boo at the Zoo which has become a Cleveland tradition for us. This year, we went with our friends and neighbors Heather and Jared and their three kids. We had a really great time. These pictures are from the spooky train ride.
We took this picture of all of the kids in their animal costumes right after they watched a puppet show. Notice that Elijah is holding Benjamin. Right after I took the photo, a man announced that another puppet show would be starting in eight minutes. Elijah was so enthralled by this announcement that he promptly turned his whole body towards the announcer and let go of Benjamin with both hands. The puppet show was just that good.I was home alone, again, with the boys this evening. We went trick-or-treating on our block. Before we left, I figured if they were going to get sugared up anyway then we may as well go for broke. I made orange pumpkinish shaped pancakes for dinner with chocolate chip faces. The boys were in heaven.As we left the house to go trick-or-treating they all yelled together, "Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!" It was pretty cute. Since no one was home to pass out candy, I left a bowl on the porch next to our awesome pumpkins. The sign said "take 1 or 2" but I am pretty sure handfuls were grabbed because it got drained really fast. The boys had a great time, although Elijah was very distraught about people "stealing" our candy that we left out. I told him it was okay. When we got back home, I let them eat a few pieces each with promises that more would be forthcoming tomorrow. Even with the paltry amount I let them eat they didn't settle down until just a few minutes ago. Happy Halloween little wild things.

Pumpkin Pics

Please forgive the extended break between blogs. I assure you I have a hefty backlog of photos and blog ideas but have been lacking the time to write. So, to tide you over until I can catch up here are some pictures from our annual pumpkin family home evening. This year, for the first time, we let the three older boys draw faces on their pumpkins which I helped them carve out. David John's was especially difficult to carve since he didn't exactly draw a face, but a series of abstract scribbles. I did my best, and he seemed pleased with the results. Benjamin used our little plastic face pieces. He hand selected and mouthed each piece before banging it against the pumpkin. I helped him push the pieces in... a few times since he pulled them back out to slobber on them again and really make sure they were the pieces he wanted to use. Many thanks to Marc for his expert pumpkin help. He carved off the tops, helped the boys gut the pumpkins and made little niches in the bottoms for the candles to sit in. He also did all the pumpkin clean up. I love that guy.

A Wrench in the Plans

This is a plumbing update: Neither my main water valve nor my sink have been repaired yet. As you may remember from my lovely ditty last month, we are waiting for my plumber and the city water department to coordinate and show up at my house on the same day at the same time. We have had two dates when this was theoretically possible but neither worked out. The first time, the city backed out because of a water main break that took first priority. On the second date, which was Wednesday, everything was good to go when- I am not making this up- my plumber called to say his truck had broken down on the freeway on the way to my house and that it was currently being towed to a dealership.
Either my plumber is a pathological liar, or I have the worst luck with plumbing in the history of indoor water-usage. So once again, I am waiting for another magical day in which both the water department and the plumber are available. I am pretty sure this involves complicated astrology charts in which the plumber's zodiac sign (aquarius maybe?) must be in the twelfth house, the dwarf-planet Pluto must be closer to the sun than Neptune and these events must fall during a blue moon cycle. My best guess is that my sink will get fixed sometime in the year 2019.

Call of the Child

After the boys are in bed I have this crazy expectation that I am going to be able to either sit down and relax or get something done (like blogging) that I haven't been able to get to earlier. There is just one problem with this idea- putting the kids in bed does not mean that they are asleep. Gabriel in particular is the master at calling me back into his room after bedtime. After the first few interruptions of my child-free time I often tell him that I am not going to respond to any more requests.
This is almost always a lie. Gabriel is unrelenting. He can call "Mom!" at 3 second intervals without changing the pitch or volume of his voice for an undetermined amount of time. The longest I've ever lasted against this barrage of "Mom!"-calling is 15 minutes. Eventually I just can't stand it anymore and I go to his room just so he will stop. I think the CIA should hire him to interrogate foreign spies.
What is most amazing is that he will do this in order to impart or receive the most trivial information.
Here are some examples of the response I get when I finally enter his room with an exasperated, "Yes. What on earth do you need Gabriel?!?"

"Um, is it okay if I wake up sometimes and need to use the bathroom?"

"Mom, are you guys making popcorn out there?"

"Mom, are you watching something?"

"Look, Mom, when I put my feet together it makes a triangle shape. See?"

"Um, well, um, well, actually, I was wondering.... well, I was wondering, um, what are we doing after bedtime?"
Me: "You'll wake up, eat breakfast, get dressed and go to preschool. I love you. Go to sleep."
5 minutes and a hundred "Mom!"s later...
"Um, well, what, um, what are we doing after preschool?"

"Mom, I have ten fingers."

"Look, Mom. This is my pillow."

"Mom, can I have some gum tomorrow?"

"Do you know where Pooh-bear's shirt is?"

"Mom, you forgot to say goodnight."
Me: "Goodnight Gabriel. I love you. GO TO SLEEP."

Sometimes I get very frustrated about this night time ritual. Marc reminds me that answering these nocturnal summons is just part of being Gabriel's mom, and isn't he worth it? Marc's right, Gabriel is so worth it. So for now, I'll continue to answer the call of the child.

Clothes Make the Man

Last Sunday, David John complained that his shirt was hurting him. I figured maybe it had an itchy tag or something, so I changed it. A while later, David John complained that the new shirt was also hurting him. I couldn't find anything wrong and started to suspect that maybe his stomach was hurting and he was attributing the pain to the shirt. My suspicions were confirmed yesterday.
I watched as David John walked into the kitchen and banged his knee on the table. "Ouch!" he said followed promptly by, "I need new pants. My pants hurting me!"
Addendum: Today David John heard my stomach growling around lunch time. He exclaimed, "Uh-oh mommy, your shirt is hungry!"

3 Going on 30

There is no one like a toddler to show you how ridiculous adults sound sometimes. Here are some of my favorite Elijah-style uses of adult phrases and tactics from the last week or so:

The Threat
(Elijah wanted a puzzle but I told him he needed to clean up first.)
Elijah: "Mom! If you don't get the caterpillar puzzle down for me right now then I am going to be very very naughty!"
Me: "Great, now you're making threats."
Elijah: "It's not great!"
Me: "I know, I was being sarcastic."

The Guilt Trip
(Elijah had to go to time out for being disobedient.)
Elijah: "Well, Mom, if you send me to time out then I will be very very sad."
Me: "I'm sorry, but you broke the rules. You still have to go to time out."
Elijah: "But Mom, that will make me cry!"
(This was accompanied by outstanding sad faces and tears welling up in those big blue eyes. This kid is good.)

The Limited Time Offer
(I was feeding Benjamin and unavailable to read a story for a few minutes.)
Elijah: "Mom! Hurry and read me this story right now before someone else does!"
Me: Laughing, and imagining throngs of people clamoring to read Elijah a story; not that it isn't a pleasure to read to him.

I'm Sorry, but...
(David John came running into the kitchen crying and saying Elijah had hit him.)
Me: "Elijah, please come apologize to David John for hitting. Hitting is not okay."
Elijah: "David John, I'm sorry I had to hit you, but you were trying to bite me."
Me: "David John, were you trying to bite him?"
David John: "Yes."

Marc's Menagerie

I am surrounded by animals. No, I am not referring to my little children or even their stuffed toys. Lately, my home looks a shelter for lost animals of the balloon variety. Marc has decided that any truly great pediatrician should be able to tie a repertoire of at least 100 balloon animals. He's been practicing, and getting better I might add. Here are just some of his creations from the last 4 days.

David John loves his Doggy
Fish on a Fishing Pole. Elijah was very pleased with the fishing pole, and Benjamin was very pleased to eat the balloon-tying instruction book.
A better picture of a Fish, oh, and Gabriel. He is going through a phase in which he attempts to jump into the frame of every picture I take. I have been doing a lot of creative cropping of late.
Monkey
Froggy
Octopus
Giraffe
Seahorse
Two Tigers
Little Mouse
Baby Elephant

Cute, huh? I'd love to find homes for all of them, I'll even wave the adoption fee and they don't have to be neutered. Please consider adopting one of these balloon animals, our next shipment of balloons arrives in two days and Marc won't be able to resist creating a bevy of poppable pets.