Labor of Love

Having a baby is surreal experience made more so by the fact that as soon as it is over you are unable to recall with any clarity exactly what happened. I have similar amnesia problems with pregnancy in general and the entire newborn not-sleeping-through-the-night phase. I guess this is evolution's way of ensuring that women continue to have children after the first one. Anyway, here is my baby story- or at least as much as I remember of it two weeks later.

Thursday, March 31st
5:53 AM I am awakened by the presence of an orange creamsicle Jelly Belly under my back. I feel like the princess and the pea. Apparently, Marc is testing me to see just how uncomfortable I am in this end stage of pregnancy. I feel my waking up is a good sign- if a jellybean can interrupt sleep, labor must be imminent.

11:30 AM We finally pick up the car seat we found on Craig's list. Our attempt the previous night was cut short by a freak snow shower and the resulting inability of anyone on the freeway to, you know, drive.

12:00 PM We take the boys out to lunch at Chick-fil-A, the only restaurant even close to our house with a playland. All of the pictures of cows remind me that I am the size of a... well cow. I am so done being pregnant.

3:15 PM I wake up from a nap and- Hallelujah! my water breaks. Who knew Chick-fil-A could induce labor? Much tastier than castor oil.

3:16 PM I call my mom to inform her grandson number four is on the way and she needs to head on up to Cleveland. She is currently subbing as an elementary school secretary. The principal informs her that daughter in labor or no she is not leaving until at least 4 PM. Seriously? She's not even the regular secretary! And I thought the principal was supposed to be your pal.

4:50 PM We drop the boys off at my friend Holly's house while they wait for Grandma to arrive. Holly graciously feeds us some casserole and Haagen-Daz ice cream before I have to be on the old clear fluids only regimen in the hospital. The boys are excited that baby Benjamin has finally decided it is time to come out.

6:10 PM We arrive at the hospital, get checked in and the hospital OB does an exam to prove "with science" that my water did in fact break. He takes a sample to look at with a microscope.

6:40 PM Science confirms that I am in labor. I'm glad science is so smart.

6:45, 6:52, 6:55, 7:03 etc. Our nurses call button goes off. It is possessed. It goes off if you bump it, push an adjacent button or look at it the wrong way.

7:45 PM The nurses start ignoring our call button. If we actually need anything we'll have to send Marc screaming into the hallway.

8:20 PM The really good contractions set in. I tell myself to relax. I am successful, mostly. I am finding the voice on my relaxation CD that was so soothing when I practiced this at home is less soothing in the hospital, especially with the numerous interruptions. After a while, I find myself talking back to the voice on the CD. In my mind I am telling him to see if he could relax through all of this insanity. Maybe they shouldn't have chosen a man. I am not feeling a particular kinship with men right now.

Friday, April 1st
12:10 AM I am starting to doubt myself. Everyone is telling me I am doing great. I guess I look relaxed on the outside. Their words are comforting.

2:15 AM Still only a 5. The OB is recommending some pitocin and I am exhausted after what my nurse is calling "wicked" contractions. I finally agree to the pitocin and the epidural that goes with it. I feel a little wussy, but I also want this baby to come before anyone starts talking C-section.

2:35 AM The anesthesiologist arrives and they send Marc out of the room. They compliment me on holding still and not complaining about the pain. I ask if that is unusual. Apparently women in labor are usually a rude and wiggly lot. I mean, yeah, the contractions are killer but I also don't want to move when someone is putting a very big needle in my back... maybe I'm not as wussy as I thought.

3:30 AM The epidural has finally kicked in and I am feeling so sleepy...

3:40 AM After a too brief nap I am informed that now I am magically at a ten! We didn't even start the pitocin yet. I am feeling a little ripped off. I could have totally made it another hour without help. Oh well, maybe next time. Everyone starts rushing around getting ready for Benjamin.

3:57 AM It's time to push and I can't feel anything because I'm still so numb from the epidural. Awesome. Somehow, I manage to get my muscles to cooperate. The OB tells me this baby is definitely going to be smaller than my last one. Twenty minutes later, Benjamin proves her wrong. He is big and beautiful. Marc had warned me that in his experience newborns are just not cute for a while so we shouldn't worry if he wasn't cute right away. Now that Benjamin is here, Marc holds my hand and tells me, "I was wrong, Honey. When they are yours, newborns are adorable." I feel incredibly grateful for this new, crying, wiggly mess lying on my chest. I hold his perfect little hands and say hello.

Another thing you always forget about the birthing experience- that first look and surge of love for your child. I'm glad I get to experience it again as if it's the first time. Welcome to the world little Benjamin.