Four Score and Seven Years Ago

Wait, make that four years ago, seven weeks early Gabriel and Elijah were born. We had a great time celebrating their birthday with Oma and Opa. We tried to treat them to dinner out at the Cheesecake Factory. It was almost as disastrous as our ill-aimed pin the tail on the donkey game. At least everyone looked cute in their hats. I took treats to the boys' school on Monday. They loved having David John and Benjamin in their classes. Elijah's teacher made him a birthday crown and asked what he wanted her to draw on it. He replied "A temple." She was a little taken aback. She said "How about a castle?" Of course, when we got home the other boys had to have crowns too, even though it wasn't David John's birthday. We are so grateful for our two biggest boys. They are amazing and full of boundless energy. I just hope we can find positive ways to channel that energy this year. Suggestions welcome. Please enjoy the pictures.

Elusive Essay Espied

Members of the blog community have confirmed reports of a sighting of the rare ohioricks blog. Those tracking the blog's mating habits, migratory patterns and habitat were relieved at the news.
"It had been almost a whole month without so much as a word or hint of its whereabouts," explained blog expert Lucius Loquacious, "We were beginning to wonder if the ohioricks blog had survived the Thanksgiving season. Its appearance today is definitely heartening."

While the sighting today is certainly news to celebrate, experts are still concerned about the rapid disappearance of the blog's natural habitat, a region known as "Sarah's Free Time." If the flashy line graphs are to be believed, the size of Sarah's Free Time has an inverse relationship to the number of alien species introduced into the environment. Non-native life forms have been encroaching for years. Specialist Peter Punditry made the following observation in his recent book The Cleveland Chronicles: an examination of it's habits from awful alliteration to down-write dreadful puns, "The erosion of Sarah's Free Time, habitat of The Cleveland Chronicles or ohioricks blog, began in 2002 with the accidental introduction of the organism known as Marc. Marc was carried into Sarah's Free Time by an unsuspecting college student. The ecosystem seemed able to incorporate this new species, but with some environmental losses. The real devastation started in 2007 with the twin invaders Gabriel and Elijah. David John was discovered in the habitat in 2009 and a fifth alien took root just this year. It is unclear whether stability will be maintained with the addition of the species Benjamin, yet another hour-avore. "

While the outlook for the Cleveland Chronicles may be grim, blog lovers and tree huggers alike can do something to save this endangered specious writing. Vera Verbosity suggested some ways you can help:
1. Offer to help relocate alien species to other, less fragile environments. These species would probably thrive in locations such as Time With Babysitters, Time at Other People's Houses, Nap Time, and Bed Time Without Complaining, Crying, Getting-up or Refusing to Sleep
2. Contribute to a charity or research institution developing programs and technology to help perpetuate the ohioricks blog. The following organizations would make good use of your time or money: Invent a Pill so Sarah Doesn't Need any Sleep Group, People for Ending Toddler Anarchy and the Mommy Liberation Front
3. Write your local congressman and demand that well being of the Cleveland Chronicles and the maintenance of the integrity of Sarah's Free Time be made a top priority. Currently, 0 government dollars are being given to this cause and only 3 subcommittees are working on the issue. Your voice could change that.

In the time it took you to read this article, 30 more minutes of Sarah's Free Time has disappeared. Let us hope that with the combined efforts of concerned citizens and blog specialists, this most recent sighting of The Cleveland Chronicles won't be the last.

Wild Things

Lions...and Tigers...and Bears...Oh My!Our boys were very enthusiastic about their costumes this year. Elijah wore the same tiger costume last year, but begged to wear it again this year which was fine by me. David John was also adamant about being a tiger. Of late, he's developed an obsession with baby tigers. He frequently asks to watch baby tiger videos on You Tube. Every day since we've started working on his costume he's asked, "I be baby tiger? I can wear baby tiger helmet?" Here he is giving his best baby tiger roar.This is the whole crew with Daddy. They went trick-or-treating last Monday at our local Notre Dame college. Poor Marc has been on call every other night and so has missed most of the Halloween fun. We were glad he got to do this with the boys. Gabriel and Elijah mastered the "trick-or-treat" phrase this year. David John could say it too, but he never said until after he got the candy. The female college students were quite charmed by his saying "trick-or-treat-thank-you!" after they dropped something in his bucket.On Thursday, Gabriel and Elijah had a costume parade at their school. They each sported a homemade costume created as part of a class project. So, here is Gabe the black cat...... and Elijah the spider.Saturday was loaded with Halloween fun. Our local grocery store, Giant Eagle, does an awesome Halloween scavenger hunt every year. Each store department gives something for the kids to put in their bags and most of it is not candy. The boys got apples, lunchables, goldfish crackers, stickers and more. Here is Benjamin enjoying the pumpkin-shaped sugar cookie he scored at the bakery.
Saturday night was Boo at the Zoo which has become a Cleveland tradition for us. This year, we went with our friends and neighbors Heather and Jared and their three kids. We had a really great time. These pictures are from the spooky train ride.
We took this picture of all of the kids in their animal costumes right after they watched a puppet show. Notice that Elijah is holding Benjamin. Right after I took the photo, a man announced that another puppet show would be starting in eight minutes. Elijah was so enthralled by this announcement that he promptly turned his whole body towards the announcer and let go of Benjamin with both hands. The puppet show was just that good.I was home alone, again, with the boys this evening. We went trick-or-treating on our block. Before we left, I figured if they were going to get sugared up anyway then we may as well go for broke. I made orange pumpkinish shaped pancakes for dinner with chocolate chip faces. The boys were in heaven.As we left the house to go trick-or-treating they all yelled together, "Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!" It was pretty cute. Since no one was home to pass out candy, I left a bowl on the porch next to our awesome pumpkins. The sign said "take 1 or 2" but I am pretty sure handfuls were grabbed because it got drained really fast. The boys had a great time, although Elijah was very distraught about people "stealing" our candy that we left out. I told him it was okay. When we got back home, I let them eat a few pieces each with promises that more would be forthcoming tomorrow. Even with the paltry amount I let them eat they didn't settle down until just a few minutes ago. Happy Halloween little wild things.

Pumpkin Pics

Please forgive the extended break between blogs. I assure you I have a hefty backlog of photos and blog ideas but have been lacking the time to write. So, to tide you over until I can catch up here are some pictures from our annual pumpkin family home evening. This year, for the first time, we let the three older boys draw faces on their pumpkins which I helped them carve out. David John's was especially difficult to carve since he didn't exactly draw a face, but a series of abstract scribbles. I did my best, and he seemed pleased with the results. Benjamin used our little plastic face pieces. He hand selected and mouthed each piece before banging it against the pumpkin. I helped him push the pieces in... a few times since he pulled them back out to slobber on them again and really make sure they were the pieces he wanted to use. Many thanks to Marc for his expert pumpkin help. He carved off the tops, helped the boys gut the pumpkins and made little niches in the bottoms for the candles to sit in. He also did all the pumpkin clean up. I love that guy.

A Wrench in the Plans

This is a plumbing update: Neither my main water valve nor my sink have been repaired yet. As you may remember from my lovely ditty last month, we are waiting for my plumber and the city water department to coordinate and show up at my house on the same day at the same time. We have had two dates when this was theoretically possible but neither worked out. The first time, the city backed out because of a water main break that took first priority. On the second date, which was Wednesday, everything was good to go when- I am not making this up- my plumber called to say his truck had broken down on the freeway on the way to my house and that it was currently being towed to a dealership.
Either my plumber is a pathological liar, or I have the worst luck with plumbing in the history of indoor water-usage. So once again, I am waiting for another magical day in which both the water department and the plumber are available. I am pretty sure this involves complicated astrology charts in which the plumber's zodiac sign (aquarius maybe?) must be in the twelfth house, the dwarf-planet Pluto must be closer to the sun than Neptune and these events must fall during a blue moon cycle. My best guess is that my sink will get fixed sometime in the year 2019.

Call of the Child

After the boys are in bed I have this crazy expectation that I am going to be able to either sit down and relax or get something done (like blogging) that I haven't been able to get to earlier. There is just one problem with this idea- putting the kids in bed does not mean that they are asleep. Gabriel in particular is the master at calling me back into his room after bedtime. After the first few interruptions of my child-free time I often tell him that I am not going to respond to any more requests.
This is almost always a lie. Gabriel is unrelenting. He can call "Mom!" at 3 second intervals without changing the pitch or volume of his voice for an undetermined amount of time. The longest I've ever lasted against this barrage of "Mom!"-calling is 15 minutes. Eventually I just can't stand it anymore and I go to his room just so he will stop. I think the CIA should hire him to interrogate foreign spies.
What is most amazing is that he will do this in order to impart or receive the most trivial information.
Here are some examples of the response I get when I finally enter his room with an exasperated, "Yes. What on earth do you need Gabriel?!?"

"Um, is it okay if I wake up sometimes and need to use the bathroom?"

"Mom, are you guys making popcorn out there?"

"Mom, are you watching something?"

"Look, Mom, when I put my feet together it makes a triangle shape. See?"

"Um, well, um, well, actually, I was wondering.... well, I was wondering, um, what are we doing after bedtime?"
Me: "You'll wake up, eat breakfast, get dressed and go to preschool. I love you. Go to sleep."
5 minutes and a hundred "Mom!"s later...
"Um, well, what, um, what are we doing after preschool?"

"Mom, I have ten fingers."

"Look, Mom. This is my pillow."

"Mom, can I have some gum tomorrow?"

"Do you know where Pooh-bear's shirt is?"

"Mom, you forgot to say goodnight."
Me: "Goodnight Gabriel. I love you. GO TO SLEEP."

Sometimes I get very frustrated about this night time ritual. Marc reminds me that answering these nocturnal summons is just part of being Gabriel's mom, and isn't he worth it? Marc's right, Gabriel is so worth it. So for now, I'll continue to answer the call of the child.

Clothes Make the Man

Last Sunday, David John complained that his shirt was hurting him. I figured maybe it had an itchy tag or something, so I changed it. A while later, David John complained that the new shirt was also hurting him. I couldn't find anything wrong and started to suspect that maybe his stomach was hurting and he was attributing the pain to the shirt. My suspicions were confirmed yesterday.
I watched as David John walked into the kitchen and banged his knee on the table. "Ouch!" he said followed promptly by, "I need new pants. My pants hurting me!"
Addendum: Today David John heard my stomach growling around lunch time. He exclaimed, "Uh-oh mommy, your shirt is hungry!"