Shenanigans

I chose this title for random tidbits about the boys thinking that the word was Irish in origin. Apparently, it's origin is "unknown" and the first known usage was in 1855. Weird, huh? Regardless, here are some of the latest shenanigans and quotables from my boys:

Gabriel's preschool class read "Green Eggs and Ham" this month. How do I know? Well, it was in a note sent home from school but I would have known anyway because Gabriel is constantly quoting from it and adapting the text to the current situation. At dinner the other night:

Elijah: Mom, I don't like fish or cauliflower or potatoes!

Me: You haven't even tried them how do you know?

Elijah: I just know!

Gabriel: Try them and you may! Try them and you may I say!

Last week, Gabriel was very angry with me. I don't even remember what it was about but I certainly remember his response.

Gabriel : "Fine! I don't love you! I don't love you here! I don't love you there! I don't love you anywhere! And I won't smile! I won't smile on a train or in the rain! Or ever again!" I'm pretty sure Dr. Seuss is rolling over in his grave.

Before I go anywhere with the boys, we have a little meeting about what behaviors are expected based on where we are going. I think in this particular instance we were going to the library. I asked the boys what the rules were.

Gabriel: No yelling!

Elijah: Stay with mommy!

Gabriel: No running!

Elijah: Don't climb on the shelves!

David John: And no panicking!

Good advice, David John. He must have read the Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy.

One of the blessings of having boys is that when you are at a park without access to any bathrooms and someone needs to go, you can just find a secluded tree instead of packing everyone back into the car and driving home. My boys, and I think boys in general, are very interested in peeing outside. They find it fascinating. Unfortunately, being 2 and 4, they don't always have the best aim. Poor Elijah was using a tree at the park when he decided to look down and see how things were going. He simultaneously turned the stream upward and got himself right in the eye. I felt like a very bad mother because I couldn't contain all of my laughter while I helped him get cleaned up. Boys are so weird.

Gabriel has found a new passion this month. He has become a letter-writer. Often, he makes cards and writes letters just to show love or appreciation for someone. However, he also uses his letter-writing to advocate for social change. He wrote a letter to one of his teachers at school because he did not like getting messy during arts and crafts time. He wrote the letter, read it to me, and I rewrote what he said in somewhat more legible hand so that his teacher could read it. The letter included the following sentiment, "I don't like getting my hands dirty 'cause that makes me crazy. Please get me an art smock." He also wrote letters when I told him that he will not be able to go back to his preschool next year. He filled an entire box with letters to his teachers and school administration asking for a tuition decrease. He also threw in some change and a few plastic toys to sweeten the deal. I didn't rewrite those letters for him. The school board will have to figure it out themselves.

Elijah likes to use a calculator to "send emails". The other day, Elijah was sending emails to friends and family and periodically asking Gabriel who to send an email to next.

Gabriel: Send an email to the zombies.

Elijah: No! Zombies can't read!

Gabriel: Yes they can. They write notes.

Elijah: Well, they definitely don't have computers. They are dead. I am not sending email to the zombies.

Good thinking, Elijah. The last thing we need is undead using the internet.

Most of you know, but for posterity let me note that David John broke his nose this month. When the boys were supposed to be in bed and sleeping, they were instead playing "circus act" in the dark. Circus act involves feats of derring-do, like jumping from bed to bed and doing flips. David John did a flip and landed nose first on the headboard of his bed. I am sorry to say, I failed to take a picture of the resulting swollen nose and black eyes. He was definitely in pain after the initial accident, but was back to his dare-devilry by the next day. His nose is slightly flatter and wider across the bridge than it was and we considered getting it fixed. However, the day before we had to decide David John did the exact same trick and landed on his nose again. He did not re-break it, but the incident convinced me that fixing his nose at this point would be premature. He will likely break it again. Besides, it will be a nostalgic reminder of his toddler shenanigans.

Full of Hot Air

Recently, Marc forced me to catch up on the project of backing up all of the pictures. As a result, I found some pictures that I had edited for a blog but never got around to posting. Long-time readers may remember a post back in September 2011 about Marc's balloon tying skills. Shortly after it was published, Marc was approached at work by some female residents in his pediatrics program who indicated that they did not find his balloons all that impressive. They seemed to think that they could easily teach themselves to do the same thing. Marc, being a man, was full of bluster about this encounter and asked me to photograph and post some more balloons in hopes that they would appreciate his "mad skillz". So, here it is: the catalog of balloon shapes that only real men can tie.

First up, we have the very masculine motorcycle balloon. I wish I had a picture of one done in black, but this is still pretty cool.

Speaking of hogs, nothing says "man" like a chauvinist pig.

Awww, but this one is cute and fat and pink!

Okay, sorry, back to the manliness. We'd like to see those girls attempt to tie this scorpion of death!

Yeah, take that. Or how about this ferocious black bear?

Actually, I want to hug that one and take a nap...

Focus! Okay, here is a fire-breathing, princess-eating dragon!

And it's fearsome cousin, the dragon.... fly?

Really, babe? This is what you give me to work with?

Nothing could be more frightening than a fuzzy... pink... bunny. Umm, maybe it's one of those bunnies like in Monte Python?

Oh look, and here are some flowers. I'm sure they are, uh, carnivorous. Yeah.

Finally, we have a petrifying, um, penguin.

Don't ask. I have no idea what is manly about penguins. You'll have to call Marc. So, uh, boo-ya balloon-skill-doubting residents..... and stuff. Gotta go.

Little Shopping Trip of Horrors

I got some bad news recently. The preschool that we are sending our boys to this year, and which we could only afford because their tuition was unbelievably low, tripled the tuition for next year. It is still a good deal compared to other preschools. Most parents are unhappy but undeterred. Most parents will not have three preschool-aged children next year.
Marc and I crunched numbers and concluded that we just could not afford the new higher tuition times three. I got a little choked up when I handed them my letter today informing the school that Gabriel and Elijah would not be returning. I knew I would miss those 2 1/2 hours, four days a week when I only had two children and could run errands without fear of losing control of the situation. However, I had convinced myself that it wouldn't be so bad. Gabriel and Elijah are getting older. It had been a while since I took them all to the store... surely things would have improved.
I tried it today. It was not so good.
It wasn't even the worst shopping trip ever. Nobody climbed the shelves, squirted cleaning solution in their eyes, licked yogurt off the floor, opened unpaid for groceries, sat in an empty cashier's station and started pressing buttons, tried to shoplift or yelled and screamed. "What bad behaviors are left?" you might wonder. My friends, there are plenty. First, there was just the general chaos of having three small bodies running around my cart and constantly getting in the way of other shoppers despite my pleas to "Please put one hand on the cart unless mommy asks you to go get something." Then, there was the arguing about whose turn it was to get something off the shelf and put it in the cart which included blowing raspberries and elbowing each other. Sometimes, I am tempted to just buy three of everything to avoid these fights. Of course there was also a lot of whining and begging for grocery items made of pure sugar like marshmallows and shiny foil-wrapped Easter candy. Benjamin was no saint either. It does not seem to matter how tight I make those little belts on the grocery carts, he wiggles out. Invariably, I look away for a moment and when I look back he is standing up on the seat, one hand clutching the cart and the other extended like some sort of baby surfer. Sometimes he responds to my exasperated face with an "uh-oh" and a smile so big I can see all six of his teeth.
All of this craziness was happening and I was handling it pretty well. I did get some looks. Older women often chastise me about Benjamin's surfing habit and a new father out with his wife and baby looked positively terrified that one day his child might start behaving like my boys. I wanted to reach out and pat his shoulder and say, "There, there. You only have one. And she's a girl." Anyway, as I was saying, despite the insanity I still felt in control. Then we hit the produce section.
Picking produce is the most dangerous part of any shopping trip. Pay too much attention to the fruits and vegetables, and your kids might pull a disappearing act. Pay too much attention to the kids, and you end up with rotten tomatoes in your bag. I made the former error. I was choosing a cauliflower when from behind me I heard, "Pickle fight!" I whipped around to see my three boys sword fighting with English cucumbers. They were each wielding two, one for each hand, and were wildly slashing the air. Luckily, the cucumbers seemed to be unhurt and I hurriedly replaced them and shooed my boys back to the cart. At this point, I knew we had reached the limit of their mildly bad behavior and were fast approaching catastrophe. We made it through the checkout line with only a few minor incidents. (Elijah jumped in and out of the cart a few times, David John tried to fill the belt with gum and other check-out items, and Gabriel put up a sign that indicated our lane was closed. Several shoppers went to other lanes before I noticed what he had done.) I was relieved when I had all four boys and my bags of groceries safely stowed away in the van.
I am REALLY going to miss preschool next year.

This Month in Marc and Sarah History

Feb 2nd- Marc and Sarah go on their second official date. After dinner at a Peruvian restaurant they head to Marc's cousin's house to watch a movie. During the film, Marc holds Sarah's hand for the first time. How could he resist? "The Three Amigos" is such a romantic movie! Marc and Sarah become hand-holding fiends after that.
Feb 3rd- Marc takes Sarah to meet some friends who are in town. He introduces her as, "my friend Sarah". His friends tell him later that night that he needs to do something about that. Sarah did not seem like just a friend. Later that week Marc and Sarah decide that they are officially a couple.
Feb 8th- Marc and Sarah go to Marcus and Rebecca's to watch the opening ceremonies of the 2002 Winter Olympics. On the way there, Marc invites Sarah to Disneyland later that month. Sarah invites Marc to come home with her to Ohio in April. When Marc drops Sarah off that night, they kiss. It's Sarah's first kiss ever. Marc is a player. He's kissed one other girl before.
Feb 10th- Marc comes over to Sarah's apartment. She has a feeling he wants to talk about something serious so she makes excuses about why they can't talk right now.
Feb 11th- Marc comes over again. This time, Sarah agrees to listen. Mostly, she is just out of excuses. Marc lets her know that he is serious about her and hopes to marry her someday. He realizes she is young, so he won't bring it up again until she's ready to talk about it. He just wanted her to know where he stood.
Feb 12th- Sarah decides that if Marc is that serious then she better figure out if she is serious too. She spends the day fasting and praying when she is not in class. By the end of the day, Sarah decides that she wants to marry Marc and if they both feel that way then there is no point in waiting. She calls him.
"Hello?"
"Yes."
"Yes... what?"
"Yes, I want to marry you."
Feb 14th- Marc brings Sarah flowers for Valentines Day and a book, "Ella Enchanted". Marc and Sarah start reading it together. Sarah loves to listen to Marc reading. He does all the voices.
Feb 15th- Sarah's friend, Mary Smith, arrives from Ohio for the winter Olympics. Marc plays chauffeur. Sarah and Mary enjoy Olympic hockey and the sights and sounds of Salt Lake City. Marc keeps dropping to one knee and pretending to propose. Unbeknownst to Sarah, Marc has already purchased a ring. Mary gets to see it before she leaves.Feb 18th- Marc surprises Sarah with a cozy romantic dinner in what will be their first apartment. It is still under construction. The dinner features Sarah's favorite, chicken caesar salad, and there are rose petals everywhere. Marc gets on knee again, but this time he has the ring. He asks Sarah if she will marry him. She says yes, again.Feb 19th- Marc and Sarah celebrate their officially engaged status with a road trip to Disneyland with Marc's family. He reads to her all the way. Like Ella, Sarah feels her life has become enchanted.

Fun February Fotos

Okay, I confess that three of these photos may be from January... but most of them are definitely from this month. Enjoy!

I like this picture of Elijah. I feel it embodies the chaos I experience on a day to day basis.

Since October, the boys have decided that our main front window needs seasonally appropriate decorations. Elijah traced his hands to create winter gloves to hang in the window, and Gabriel drew these adorable anime style snowmen.
Benjamin is getting bigger and oh-so-expressive. He offers more smiles than he used to, but still gives plenty of stink-eyes. Oh, and see that picture in the middle? Yes, that is a chocolate chip. He was storing it in his ear for emergency snacking purposes. That was the day he had his first, and possibly last, chocolate chip cookie.

Aren't these pretty? They are kale chips (Thanks for the recipe Molly!). David John loved these "green chips" but my other boys weren't as impressed. I liked them initially, but found the aftertaste too strong for me. February has been a depressing month in the healthy food arena. I am discovering that I do not like so many things that sound delicious and are good for my body. This month I tried and eliminated the following items from my "Healthy Food Sarah Likes" list: kale chips, sweet potato chips, Greek yogurt, salmon and white bean salad and cauliflower soup. In good news, after years of not getting along with brussel sprouts, we are on speaking terms.
I guess heart cookies are becoming a tradition because we made them again this year and the boys were gung-ho about decorating. We used the cookies to give some of our neighbors "heart attacks" which included a plate of heart cookies, a note about how awesome the neighbors are and several decorative paper hearts. The boys loved sneaking around at night and doorbell ditching. They called themselves "injas" (aka ninjas). They also loved getting to eat some of their own creations. I'm pretty sure the vast majority of the sugar in these sugar cookies was on top and not in the batter.

Here is David John in his favorite shirt. He can read it himself, "I am master of disaster!" Yes, yes you are.
While at my mom's house, Gabriel decided he wanted to knit. My mom gave him some yarn. The other boys wanted some too. Boys + yarn = giant spider web. This poor pull-toy caterpillar was the first victim to be caught. The web was massive starting in the kitchen downstairs (it even went in the fridge) and going up the stairs to the hallway on the second floor. It made moving about the house very exciting. I confess to pretending to be Catherine Zeta Jones in the movie Entrapment when negotiating the strings.
"Say cheese," I said. This is what I got. Maybe they didn't know they should smile while saying cheese?
Valentines Day flowers from the hubby. Marc's favorite flower + Sarah's favorite color= Awww. They smelled great too. I sure love that guy.
For our final picture, here is proof that Benjamin is indeed a Ricks. He is eating popcorn off of the floor. He will get popcorn anyway he can, even if he has to steal it, climb on top of the table for it or crawl away while getting his clothes changed. Apparently the popcorn addiction gene is a dominant one.

Reel Life

Some days, I feel like I'm living in a movie. I wish the movie was a fairytale like Ever After or even an action babe flick like Tomb Raider but alas I am living in one of those naughty kids movies. You know the kind I'm talking about. The basic premise is that a person, usually of the male persuasion, who is categorically unqualified to care for children ends up in charge of a brood of highly-spirited kids. There is inevitably a montage of crazy child behavior in which the house is trashed and the babysitter collapses in exhaustion. I could write these movies. In fact, I could produce these movies as a documentary. The events which I am about to describe are all true. They all occured today. If you would like to envision how this would play out in a movie, just imagine it all happening in fast forward with wacky music playing in the background.

Dear Hollywood Filmmakers,
As a mother of four active boys I would like to submit the following ideas for your next inept babysitter genre film. I have to say that I highly recommend the combination of four boys aged four and under. I find that they are able to produce maximum chaos which I'm sure audiences everywhere would enjoy.
Scene: morning; the babysitter is trying to get the four-year-old twins ready for preschool
In stead of getting dressed, the twins are running around in their underwear, whipping each other with articles of clothing. The very fussy 10-month-old, who is cutting three teeth, is following the sitter around clutching at her pants and crying. When she tries to intervene in the clothes fight, the twins dive at her ankles yelling, "Get her! Yeah! Trip her!" Meanwhile, the 2-year-old calls out from the kitchen where he is still eating breakfast, "I peed!" The sitter spins around, nearly tripping, and catches the baby just before he enters the kitchen where there is a waterfall of urine cascading down the booster seat, onto the chair and then down to the kitchen floor. (NOTE: if this scene is in the beginning of the movie, this might be a good time for the sitter to just pass out and fall backwards. If this scene is occurring towards the end of the movie then I can give you the details of how I handled this situation with great aplomb. I felt like super mom... until the afternoon.)
Scene: afternoon; the babysitter has just picked up the twins from preschool and has fed everyone lunch. The baby has just been put down for a badly-needed nap and the sitter decides to use this opportunity to give the other three boys haircuts.
The sitter is half-way through cutting the 2-year-old's hair when she hears the baby crying. She runs into the room to find a guilty looking twin standing next to the baby whose face is covered in what are unmistakably cheeto-dust kisses. The holwing orange-faced baby is put in his highchair and the haircuts resume. She finishes the 2-year-old and moves on to the cheeto-lipped twin. Partway through his haircut, the baby wiggles out of the highchair restraints and attempts a nose-dive onto the floor. While the sitter rescues the baby, cheeto twin escapes, runs to the bathroom and tries to use the shower curtain to remove all of the hair clippings from his body. The sitter finds him by following a trail of hair on the floor. When she returns, twin in tow, to the kitchen she discovers that the baby has crawled right through the pile of hair cuttings and now resembles nothing so much as baby Bigfoot or perhaps a well used Swiffer pad. She quickly finishes the second hair cut and decides she may as well keep going despite the messes. The third hair cut is accompanied by cries and screams and requires wrestling holds and packages of fruit snacks in order to get it done. She bathes all four boys who throw tantrums about taking a bath and cause tidal waves of water to splash all over the bathroom floor. At last they are cleaned and dressed and she turns on a show for them to watch. (This may be a good time for a brief sappy moment before any additional chaos. You may wish to have her gaze at the four of them all sitting together on the couch, arms on each other's shoulders. They really are adorable boys.)
With the boys thus occupied, the sitter gets to work on cleaning up all of the hair messes. While she is busy vacuuming the hair off of the shower curtain she hears wild laughter from the living room. She rushes in to find all three of the older boys crawling around with a crayon in each hand, drawing as they go. The wood floors are completely covered in red, blue, green, purple and orange crayola. The baby is laughing too, a crayon dangling out of his mouth like some kind of bizarre cigar. She confiscates the crayons, gets out tissues and demonstrates how they can start rubbing the crayon marks off the floor. Two of them agree, but one twin refuses. She sends him to time out with a glitter-jar timer made out of a plastic peanut-butter jar. Thirty seconds later she hears a suspicious sound. Somehow, the twin has managed to throw the jar with such force and at just the right angle that the brittle plastic of the lid shatters. Glitter, water and karo syrup ooze down into the cracks between the wooden floor boards. Bedding is splattered with the sticky, glitzy concoction. She sends the twin back out to help clean the floors and starts cleaning up this new mess when she hears splashing from the bathroom. The baby has discovered the toilet! and toilet paper! Delightful! She cleans up baby only to turn around and find the second pee puddle of the day. After cleaning and sanitzing the floor, she takes a load of laundry down to the basement to be washed. When she returns the baby is brushing his hair with the vacuum hose brush attachment (There are many possible endings here. The babysitter could have a mental break and start hysterically laughing or crying. The three older boys could pull together and offer the sitter some much needed love and appreciation. The parents could arrive home and the sitter could run away and never return. There is potential for everything from feel-good family movie to horror film. I won't tell you what really happened except that everyone went to bed. Early.)

Please contact me if you have any questions or would like some sample footage.

Sincerely,

Sarah

Compelling stuff, right? If only I could get paid for my starring role...

What's Cookin'

Benjamin is a difficult eater. He has never seemed to get on the solid foods bandwagon. Foods that most babies love, i.e. bananas, evoke such horrible facial expressions that you would think we had given him a pickle or a lemon. I think I've finally figured out the problem. Despite the fact that Benjamin is a Hebrew name and both his middle and last names originate in the British Isles, he seems to believe that he is Italian-American. There are six foods that Benjamin truly loves: 1. crackers 2. chips 3. hot-dogs 4. pizza 5. baked ziti 6. risotto. You read that right, risotto. It's like I'm catering to a mini food critic. Rice? No thank you Mom. Unless you had to stand right by the stove for at least 30 minutes to make it, it just isn't up to my standards. I'll have the risotto with truffles, please.
Anyway, the reason I mention this is twofold. First, I wanted to post these pictures of the picky eater himself. Notice the less than thrilled expression about the apple slices and pancakes I am offering for breakfast. I couldn't resist a second picture just so you can all admire his amazing good-morning hair. I love it!
Secondly, it is a good segue into posting some recipes that I love but can't pin on a pinterest board because the websites I got them from don't have pictures. Seriously? Pinterest can't find a work-around for this, like pinning the site and then adding your own picture? Anyway, it is just too much work to go to my bookmarks menu, find the recipe folder and then click on the tab for the recipe I want. Instead, I decided to actually make the recipe, photograph the results, post the photos and recipes to my blogs and THEN pin it. Much easier.
Baked Ham With Bourbon Brown Sugar Glaze (from Reader's Digest)

Ingredients

• 1 fully cooked, bone-in, shank-portion smoked ham (8 1/2 pounds)
• About 40 whole cloves
• 1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
• 1/4 cup bourbon or beef stock
• 1 1/2 teaspoons freshly ground black pepper

How to make it

• Preheat oven to 325°F. Remove skin (if any) from ham and trim fat. Score remaining fat and stud with cloves.

• Place ham, cut-side-down, on a rack in a shallow roasting pan lined with several layers of aluminum foil. Insert a meat thermometer in center o f ham, making sure it does not touch bone (or test later with an instant-read thermometer).
• Bake ham, uncovered, until thermometer registers 130°F to 135°F, about 2 hours. Meanwhile, combine sugar, bourbon or stock and pepper in a small bowl.
• Remove ham from oven and brush one-third of the sugar mixture over the ham. Increase oven temperature to 375°F and return ham to oven. Every 10 minutes, apply one-third of the glaze, until all glaze has been used. If ham browns too fast, tent lightly with foil.
• Ham is done when the internal temperature rea ches 140°F. Let stand at least 15 minutes before carving.

The ham is pictured here with the aforementioned risotto. The risotto recipe can found here. I already have it pinned and it requires so much attention I may only be making it for Benjamin's birthday every year or something.

I also love a good baked ziti. I use this recipe from food network, but I often vary the cheeses depending on what I have and I always add a can of petite dice d tomatoes with chilies to the sauce for a little kick. Mmmmm.

Ingredients

• 1 pound dried ziti pasta
• Kosher salt
• 3 1/2 cups QUICK MARINARA SAUCE, rec ipe follows
• 1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan, divided
• 1/4 cup grated pecorino romano
• 1 pound fresh mozzarella, half cut into 1/2-inch cubes a nd half thinly sliced
• Freshly ground black pepper
• Pinch of crushed red pepper or to taste

Directions

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Bring a large pot of water to a boil, salt generously, and boil the pasta until al dente, tender but still slightly firm. Drain.

In a large bowl, toss the cooked pasta with the marinara sauce,

1/4 cup of the Parmesan, the pecorino, and the cubed mozzarella pieces. Season with the black pepper and red pepper to taste, and mix until well combined. Transfer the pasta to an oiled 9- x 13-inch baking dish. Cover the top of the pasta with the sliced mozzarella, and sprinkle with the remaining Parmesan. Bake until lightly browned and hot, about 30 minutes. Serve immediately.

• QUICK MARINARA SAUCE
• 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
• 1/4 medium onion, diced (about 3 tablespoons)
• 3 cloves garlic, chopped
• 3 1/2 cups whole, peeled, canned tomatoes in puree, (one 28-ounce can), roughly chopped
• Sprig of fresh thyme
• Sprig of fresh basil
• 2 teaspoons kosher salt
• Freshly ground black pepper

Heat the oil in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat.

Saute the onion and garlic, stirring, until lightly browned, about 3 minutes. Add the tomatoes and the herb sprigs and bring to a boil. Lower the heat and simmer, covered, for 10 minutes.

Remove and discard the herb sprigs. Stir in the salt and season with pepper to taste. Use now, or store covered in the refrigerator for up to 3 days, or freeze for up to 2 months.

Yield: about 3 1/2 cups.

Okay, last cooking-related item. David John LOVES to pretend to cook. I am always finding little plastic dishes or plastic pieces of food in the refrigerator and freezer. David John explains that his food was too hot and he was just cooling it off so it could be eaten. His recipes usually sound very interesting like "Pepperoni Soup" or "Hamburger Cake". He is much more relaxed about cooking than I am.

If only I could recline with a leisurely smile on my face while preparing a meal. That would be the life.